English Topic
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dEpEchEmIND - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 2020
- Membru din: Mie Aug 21, 2002 11:00 pm
de eyewitness » Dum Iun 29, 2003 9:30 am
Subject: The English Language
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never s! ay methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it! .
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example. If you have a
rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a
tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English
muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its! paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it
a
pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't
groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them
what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wiseguy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a langua! ge in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never s! ay methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it! .
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example. If you have a
rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a
tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English
muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its! paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it
a
pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't
groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them
what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wiseguy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a langua! ge in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?
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eyewitness - Mesaje: 19220
- Membru din: Lun Aug 05, 2002 11:00 pm
de darkshines » Lun Iun 30, 2003 1:53 pm
if purple monkey's weren't meant to fly, then why do I see them when I'm high?
To speak is to be silent
The concept is dead. There's nothing death should interrupt,
I went to bed last night with one sip left in the cup.
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darkshines - Mesaje: 2260
- Membru din: Joi Aug 02, 2001 11:00 pm
de Aliosha » Mie Sep 17, 2003 7:06 am
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not
raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not
raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
"Against modern football."
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Aliosha - Mesaje: 5042
- Membru din: Sâm Oct 20, 2001 11:00 pm
de Weet-weet » Dum Sep 21, 2003 1:01 pm
Cows do fly , ask the french people .. they have no flying pigs , but flying cows 
And about that research , it is true .. sort of , depends what words come up from mixing the letters properly :hehe:
I'm glad there is a thread like this one .. i'm talking english 24/7 , except when i'm on the phone ... and when i'm sleeping :p
Well , have a nice sunday !
And about that research , it is true .. sort of , depends what words come up from mixing the letters properly :hehe:
I'm glad there is a thread like this one .. i'm talking english 24/7 , except when i'm on the phone ... and when i'm sleeping :p
Well , have a nice sunday !
Anti pro-ana
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Weet-weet - Mesaje: 2682
- Membru din: Joi Iun 19, 2003 11:00 pm
de Oribilul Mosh » Dum Sep 21, 2003 1:24 pm
I also speak English very often. Every day I try to improve my knowledge in this beautiful language.
weet-weet..why do you speak English 24/7 ? It is very peculiar that in France....somebody speak English .
how is your husbant ? does he speak English too ? what is his name ? Pierre ?
weet-weet..why do you speak English 24/7 ? It is very peculiar that in France....somebody speak English .
how is your husbant ? does he speak English too ? what is his name ? Pierre ?
IEZECHIIL 25.17: Voi săvârşi asupra lor cumplită răzbunare prin pedepse grozave şi vor cunoaşte ca eu sunt Domnul, când voi săvârşi asupra lor răzbunarea mea.
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Oribilul Mosh - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 20687
- Membru din: Lun Oct 08, 2001 11:00 pm
de darkshines » Dum Sep 21, 2003 4:12 pm
Initial trimis de Oribilul Mosh
I also speak English very often. Every day I try to improve my knowledge in this beautiful language.
weet-weet..why do you speak English 24/7 ? It is very peculiar that in France....somebody speak English .
how is your husbant ? does he speak English too ? what is his name ? Pierre ?
I find that it is my duty to correct my friend's mistakes
so here goes:
my knowledge of this beautiful language
it is very peculiar that in france somebody would speak english 24/7 or somebody speaks english 24/7
how is your husband
thank you and goodnight
To speak is to be silent
The concept is dead. There's nothing death should interrupt,
I went to bed last night with one sip left in the cup.
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darkshines - Mesaje: 2260
- Membru din: Joi Aug 02, 2001 11:00 pm
de Oribilul Mosh » Dum Sep 21, 2003 5:09 pm
shine of the dark , thank you very much ! :o
weet-weet, sorry for my mistakes. English it's just my 4th language that I speak, after Romanian, Russian and Czech Language.
weet-weet, sorry for my mistakes. English it's just my 4th language that I speak, after Romanian, Russian and Czech Language.
IEZECHIIL 25.17: Voi săvârşi asupra lor cumplită răzbunare prin pedepse grozave şi vor cunoaşte ca eu sunt Domnul, când voi săvârşi asupra lor răzbunarea mea.
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Oribilul Mosh - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 20687
- Membru din: Lun Oct 08, 2001 11:00 pm
de Nicholas_Alex » Mar Sep 23, 2003 11:49 am
What the fack is worng with Lunix? I tryeing to install and is not working!
RED HATe Linoox, then I run command E prompy CONMFIG SET -R -Q -SKF /DEV AAD -3827. tHEN i connect to pingybox and setup the firewhale. What is freewarecliant subject of disk in VOM LIBRARY CUSTOM??
aNYWAY i delete evarything and install micorsfot ME because good luck tryeing too do anything in Lunix! Great job boys, I´m glad you spend all yuor free tiem writeing soemthing nobody uses!!!
BR,
01010001100011 <---- that si Intarnet Enlglish for yuo stuped peopal
RED HATe Linoox, then I run command E prompy CONMFIG SET -R -Q -SKF /DEV AAD -3827. tHEN i connect to pingybox and setup the firewhale. What is freewarecliant subject of disk in VOM LIBRARY CUSTOM??
aNYWAY i delete evarything and install micorsfot ME because good luck tryeing too do anything in Lunix! Great job boys, I´m glad you spend all yuor free tiem writeing soemthing nobody uses!!!
BR,
01010001100011 <---- that si Intarnet Enlglish for yuo stuped peopal
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Nicholas_Alex - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 2507
- Membru din: Lun Sep 02, 2002 11:00 pm
de Weet-weet » Mar Sep 23, 2003 12:35 pm
It seems i'm answering a bit late ... Life !
My husband is french , but we do talk in english because i don't speak in french . And anyway , we first spoke to each other in english .. i don't feel like talking in french to him , because i don't know it :cry:
No , his name is not Pierre and no other french name .. his name is more like a russian one ... and it's not good to make it public :p
English is my second language ... i'm learning it for ... at least 10 years .. so .. i think i can manage talking in english ( i must admit , when there are words that i don't know , i use french .. )
Oh , Nicholas ... you know , Linux is 1000000000 better than windows , i'm sure about it , but that doesn't mean i'm an expert *p
My husband is french , but we do talk in english because i don't speak in french . And anyway , we first spoke to each other in english .. i don't feel like talking in french to him , because i don't know it :cry:
No , his name is not Pierre and no other french name .. his name is more like a russian one ... and it's not good to make it public :p
English is my second language ... i'm learning it for ... at least 10 years .. so .. i think i can manage talking in english ( i must admit , when there are words that i don't know , i use french .. )
Oh , Nicholas ... you know , Linux is 1000000000 better than windows , i'm sure about it , but that doesn't mean i'm an expert *p
Anti pro-ana
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Weet-weet - Mesaje: 2682
- Membru din: Joi Iun 19, 2003 11:00 pm
de Weet-weet » Mar Sep 23, 2003 12:57 pm
No way! I think it is a romantic language , and it is latin as well , it is way better than english , but .. i am talking english , as long as most of the people do , as it is a used language , and because i have/had to . But , i can say i love french , even if it is soooooooo damn hard for me to learn it :cry:
Anti pro-ana
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Weet-weet - Mesaje: 2682
- Membru din: Joi Iun 19, 2003 11:00 pm
de Nicholas_Alex » Mie Sep 24, 2003 12:16 pm
Shut up you two, I dont haev tiem for girls and girl carp so go awaey...
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Nicholas_Alex - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 2507
- Membru din: Lun Sep 02, 2002 11:00 pm
de Nicholas_Alex » Mie Sep 24, 2003 12:39 pm
Noo, I lieks too have a fun tiem on teh Intarnet, but usually I haev been palaying a stragety game entitled "WARCART 3" PERHAPS YUO HAVE HEARD OF IT!!!! hahahahahhaa, just kidding, evarybody knows about Warcarft 3! Especially teh CHINESE!!!!
Yuo girl maek me horny..
PS I BAUGHT A BIGGAR HARD DRIVE tooday SO I CAN STORE QUALIETY EPIC ENTARTAINMENT GAMES ON IT LIEK UNRALE TORNAMINT AND UNREALE!!!
I STORE THEM IN TEH RECYCLING BIN!!! HAHAHAHahhahahahHAHAHAHAHahahahhaaLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
PS2 it si a MAXSTORE and is qualiety!1
Yuo girl maek me horny..
PS I BAUGHT A BIGGAR HARD DRIVE tooday SO I CAN STORE QUALIETY EPIC ENTARTAINMENT GAMES ON IT LIEK UNRALE TORNAMINT AND UNREALE!!!
I STORE THEM IN TEH RECYCLING BIN!!! HAHAHAHahhahahahHAHAHAHAHahahahhaaLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
PS2 it si a MAXSTORE and is qualiety!1
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Nicholas_Alex - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 2507
- Membru din: Lun Sep 02, 2002 11:00 pm
de dj_jaxxx » Mie Sep 24, 2003 7:08 pm
But I bet that if you knew how to speak french it wouldn't suck as much or would it?
Concurs NBA 2004-2005
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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dj_jaxxx - Mesaje: 1131
- Membru din: Mar Oct 22, 2002 11:00 pm
de darkshines » Joi Sep 25, 2003 10:34 am
et moi, je déteste franí§ais.
i'm such a bum. i should be studying, or doing homework or doing something to assure my future in my demanding highschool, but obviously i'm not doing any of that. hmph.
i'm such a bum. i should be studying, or doing homework or doing something to assure my future in my demanding highschool, but obviously i'm not doing any of that. hmph.
To speak is to be silent
The concept is dead. There's nothing death should interrupt,
I went to bed last night with one sip left in the cup.
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darkshines - Mesaje: 2260
- Membru din: Joi Aug 02, 2001 11:00 pm
de Haggis McMutton » Joi Sep 25, 2003 10:42 am
Good morning , darkshines ! I am new on this topic. who is the person from your avatar ? she's very ugly. 
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Haggis McMutton - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 102
- Membru din: Lun Iun 24, 2002 11:00 pm
de Nicholas_Alex » Joi Sep 25, 2003 10:45 am
Why, in the name of God, you all hate french??? Goddamn french-haters! And you, you darky! Whay the fuck is with that queer sentence: et moi, je déteste franí§ais???
Weet-weet, I find french language very beautiful...like you (thanks for the photo!). But I still don´t know what the "french-kiss" stand for?? Can you help me?
Gabriela, you fuck fucking asswipe slut!
Weet-weet, I find french language very beautiful...like you (thanks for the photo!). But I still don´t know what the "french-kiss" stand for?? Can you help me?
Gabriela, you fuck fucking asswipe slut!
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Nicholas_Alex - Junior Member
- Mesaje: 2507
- Membru din: Lun Sep 02, 2002 11:00 pm
de dj_jaxxx » Joi Sep 25, 2003 3:57 pm
Hey, don't hate the french! They invented the baguette and they gave the statue of liberty as a present to the US. Plus the best tasting cheese is French!
Respect the French!!!
Respect the French!!!
Concurs NBA 2004-2005
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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dj_jaxxx - Mesaje: 1131
- Membru din: Mar Oct 22, 2002 11:00 pm
Înapoi la Mai in gluma mai in serios. mai mult in gluma
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